One More Night

May 1, 2008

“Knight Rider?” Sam answered without looking up from the laptop.


Dean made a face “No, I meant…wait. Well yeah I do, but I was talking about something else.”


Sam was silent as his eyes coasted over the entire page at once. Dean stared at him for several seconds and then made a coughing noise to get his attention. Sam looked up, his wide, innocent looking eyes made contact with Dean’s. Seeing the familiar annoyance there Sam sat up and ignored the screen.

“No, Dean, what is it that you miss?”


Dean smiled and grimaced at the same time, a feat only the senior Winchester could pull off simultaneously. “Well now I am missing me some Knight Rider, but I was talking about Saved by the Bell.”


“The show?” Sam said, his head cocking like a dog’s.

“No the musical Sam!” Dean shot out. “Of course the show. Zack Morris, two hot chicks, Tootie from Facts of Life…” Dean looked off across the small room. They were holed up in one of Bobby’s many safe houses he had scattered around South Dakota. Abandoned barns, houses that had laid empty for years…all of them perfect to lay low and research without the hustle and distraction little things like television and running water could produce. They were backing up on Dean’s deadline (a term that Sam did not like to use) in a bad way, which meant everyone had a nose in the book and was hoping, praying and waiting for a miracle.

Sam chuckled. “She wasn’t Tootie, Dean.” He said going back to the laptop . He refreshed the page and said distractedly. “Her name was Lisa.”


“Really?” Dean said rolling it over in his mind. “She didn’t look like a Lisa.”


Sam, still not paying attention asked. “What does a Lisa look like then?”


Dean looked away with a slight smile creasing his lips and murmured.  “Flexible”


“What?” Sam asked looking up again.


“Nothing.” Dean said briskly and looked down at his own book.


Sam stared for a few more seconds and watched his brother research. Dean had always said that Sam was the brains of the operation, but Sam knew that no one picked a book clean of facts like Dean Winchester on a crusade. It was his older brother’s penchant for self loathing that made him doubt his abilities, whereas Sam grew up with the knowledge that the only thing he had on Dean and John Winchester existed above his neck. After these last three years being by themselves, Sam had gotten used to being the Giles to Dean’s Buffy, a term he used as much as he could to piss Dean off, but it didn’t mean Dean was a slouch when it came to research as well.

But he had a feeling Dean wasn’t even reading the words in front of him.
In 24 years, Sam Winchester had become an expert on Dean Winchester. Holding the only existing PhD in Deanology, he knew that his brother wasn’t holding up very well. And the Saved by the Bell crack was an attempt at something, and somehow Sam hadn’t risen to the challenge correctly. Taking a deep breath Sam gently closed his laptop and moved over to the table Dean was at. His size twelve work boots against the wooden floor made any movement sound like a 40 foot tall Japanese robot was power walking, so as he sat down across from his brother Dean was looking at him expectantly.

“So what about Saved by the Bell?” Sam said sitting down in the chair backwards, resting his head on his arms as he leaned in.

Dean smiled and closed his book shut. “Zack was the man.”

Sam nodded slightly since Dean was making a statement and not asking a question. Sam had found Zack to fall into that whole ‘Ferris Bueller, punk kid who cut class’ kind of mold that Sam just found offensive. Everyone wanted to be the kid who skipped class and had these idiot adventures but no one ever thought about the other people in the class who WANTED to be there, who were trying to get an education. Sam secretly thought if Ferris Bueller’s mom was found hanging from a ceiling and then burst into flames and he was forced to jump from city to city with his dad as they hunted down things that would give the Grimm brothers nightmares, Ferris Bueller’s day off would have been a nice, boring day in class, talking about the Great Depression with Ben Stein.
But Dean loved those kind of characters so Sam said nothing.

“He had a cell phone!” Dean said listing Zack’s finer points off on his fingers one at a time “He had Kelly. He could have had Jessie, who we all know grew up to be a stripper slut. He always had mad money, never got into trouble, Made Belding look like an asshat every time and he had Kelly.”

“You said that already.” Sam said still leaning.

Dean’s eyes widened “Have you seen Tiffani-Amber Thiessen ? Trust me, she deserves to be mentioned twice.”

Sam’s smile widened. “Yeah ok, go on.”

Dean shook his head as he tried to dismiss the visions of Kelly Kapowski from his head. “But the main thing, was he could stop time. That was the bomb!”

Sam sat up. “I never liked that part. I mean, was he really stopping time or was he just talking to the camera ? Cause sometimes he could move things and find out stuff when everyone was frozen, or was it just like a play where it was a device so that the audience could understand the character’s motivation?”

He looked up and saw Dean staring at him with the same stare he had seen since he was eight and asked Dean if a lightsaber was an extension of a Jedi’s force, how could Han Solo use it to cut Luke down in Empire? Dean’s head had swiveled over and landed on his brother’s form sporting a look that made Sam wonder if he had grown a second head or had accidentally asked the question in Latin. It was the, God you use that enormous head too much sometimes Sam, look and he had gotten used to it over the years.

“Come on Dean, you never wondered?”

“No, Sam.” Dean said with that tone in his voice “I never watched a stupid TV show and wondered how the blond kid could stop time and the implications of it on the space time continuum.” He sounded angry, but Sam knew better, this was where Dean lived, this was where he loved to be. Fighting with Sam over the dumbest things alive.

“Really Dean?” Sam asked his eyes narrowed. “Weren’t you the one who went out and bought the Chilton repair guide for a 1982 Pontiac so he could prove that a turbo boost like that would tear out the entire undercarriage of the car?”

Dean leaned in and slammed his hand down on the table as he screamed. “It can’t work Sam! It’s impossible, the torque would rip the entire suspension out and that thing had shocks the size of a walnut. There is no way it could have made those jumps in real life!”

Sam smiled, more inwardly than outside. “And the General Lee?”

Dean sat back with a face. “That’s different, she was special.”

“The General Lee was a she?” Sam said trying to hide his smile.

“All cars are female Sam, that’s why you’re so lousy with them.” Dean shot back, the same smile on his face.

They were silent for a moment as they stared at each other, there was so much to say and time was just slipping away from them. Faster than either one could handle. The silence grew from the warm fuzzy it was to a giant uncomfortable-ness that seemed to rear it’s ugly head every time the two of them tried to get close. ‘No chick moments’ was Dean’s favorite way of killing it, but killed it always got. They both looked away, the silence too much for either one to handle.

As always, Sam was ready to push past it first. Dean was too far gone in that John Winchester philosophy that any emotion, if it couldn’t be used for killing, was wasted. That creed wasn’t as inbred into Sam as it was into Dean. Sam didn’t run from his feelings like Dean, he wasn’t afraid to show them from time to time like John. Which of course had only made Sam feel even more like an outcast in his own family, but that was a cross to bear another time.

His mouth was half open when Dean kept talking. “I liked the time stopping thing because he could say anything he wanted.” Sam’s mouth slowly closed as his older brother went on “Whatever was said in the middle of a time stop, stayed in the time stop. So if he said he loved Kelly or wanted to bang Jessie, then he could just say it, and nothing would happen.”

Sam’s face grimaced. “You mean bang Jessie when time was stopped?”

“No you perv!” Dean said throwing a book at him. “I meant SAYING he wanted to bang Jessie. He could say anything while time was stopped, and no one could bring it up later.”

“Well if they were stopped in time, Dean, they never heard it, so how could they bring it up later?”

“Forget it, Sam.” Dean said with the start of real anger in his voice. “Just forget it. Go back to whatever you were looking at over there.”

Sam sat there as Dean pretended to flip through another book of the huge piles of books on the table. Most of them dealing with Hell Hounds and how to prevent their approach. Sam sighed in frustration as he began to rise from the chair, he had no idea what he had done to set Dean off this time, but he had missed something again.

And they were running out of time.

Time.

Sam looked over to Dean as he stood up and smiled. Dean looked over the book and arched an eyebrow in question. Sam held up his hands flat. One was standing straight up and the other hovering over it, forming an unconnected T.. Dean slowly put his book down as Sam brought his hands together and said, “Time out”

Dean stopped moving as Sam stood there, waiting to see if his brother was going to say anything. He moved around the table and waved his hand in front of Dean’s face, who was sitting as still as possible. Sam walked all around him and sat across from him again.

“You’re a pain in my ass sometimes , Dean Winchester.” Sam said flatly. He saw Dean’s eyes slightly widened and Sam waggled a finger at him, warning him off from breaking the spell “You are stubborn, arrogant, immature and just downright mean sometimes. You don’t clean up after yourself. You don’t have any consideration of other people’s feelings and above all else, you are a hedonistic jackass whose pursuit of pleasure and gratification at times can make our lives harder than easier.” Dean’s eyes had narrowed in frustration as this was NOT how he imagined this game going at all. “You use my stuff. You break my things and you laugh when I complain about it while at the same time you protect your crap like its made of gold or something. We never do things I want to do, like where to eat, what to listen to or even where to stay. There hasn’t been a day since you pulled me from Stanford that I haven’t wondered if I made a mistake.”

He took a deep breath and Dean looked like he was about to leap across the table and strangle him. And then from the silence Sam said, “And I love you.”

Dean’s eyes went from narrowed to shocked almost instantly.

“I love you Dean and you have no idea how much. You are my brother, you are my friend and you are my companion. You were everything I wanted to be when I grew up and still are the yard stick I use when I compare myself.”

Dean’s mouth began to twist into a snarky smile and Sam said. “Not like that kind of measuring, jackass! I meant in what it means to be a hunter, to be a Winchester.” Sam’s voice lowered. “And sometimes to be a man.”

Dean’s expression softened as Sam went on. “When I met first met Jessica ,the first thing I thought of was ‘What would Dean do to get her attention?’. Then I did the exact opposite, but still, if it wasn’t for you I would have never talked to her. You are my brother Dean and I love you. And I think it’s crap that you can sacrifice yourself to save me and I have to sit here and just deal with it. Because I would die for you in a second , Dean, less than a second. And I think it’s unfair you are going to hell alone…when I am more than willing to go with you. I am going to more than miss you.” His voice dropped to almost a whisper. “I honestly don’t know how I am going to go on alone.”

The silence that filled the room again wasn’t as oppressive. It lingered around them for a moment, like smoke from incense that swirled around you, encompassing you with its sad scent, but not overwhelming you. The two brothers sat there for a moment, both of them inhaling the sadness until Sam said with a choke in his voice “Time in.”

They both sat there for a few minutes, the emotion in the room drowning both of them from a lifetime of silence. Sam wiped the corner of his eye away as he hoped that Dean would live up to his side of the deal and not comment on anything Sam just said. Looking up he saw Dean staring at him. He brought both his hands up and said, “Time out!”

Sam ‘froze’ as he saw his brother stand up. “You think you are a piece of work there, Sammy?” He said as he paced around the table. “You under the impression that your incredibly large feet don’t stink or that you have never left a bowl or twelve of cereal in the sink after you chow down? You think driving cross-country with the only creature known to man to expel toxic waste as farts is fun?” He stopped and ran his hand through his hair. “Hell, if you weren’t my brother, I would have hunted you based solely on your farts.” He leaned down and balanced on his feet while talking face to face . “In fact you are the prissiest, wound up, no-fun-having, stick in the ass I have ever met. And I am shocked, shocked I say, that someone at Stanford didn’t kill you in your sleep long ago.” And then all the anger and frustration left Dean’s voice and he said simply. “And I love you, Sam.” Sam looked to him in shock and saw the glare as Dean reminded him he was under the spell of Zack Morris here. Sam’s head went back to its original position. “I know I never said it and I know I am only saying it now because…” His voice choked a second “…because I am not going to have another chance. But, but you are more than my brother Sammy. You’re mine.”

Sam looked over to him again and this time Dean said nothing. “The moment Dad put you in my arms, you weren’t just my little brother any more. You were mine, Sam. And my whole life, every moment since then has been about keeping you safe. That’s it. And if me dying means you are ok…well then I don’t mind.” He looked up and smiled at his little brother. “I know you ,Sam. I can already see the little wheels in your mind running in place trying to figure out how to save me or to get around it- or even if I die…to bring me back. I can see it all running around in that huge forehead of yours.”

Sam chuckled a bit as he looked away.

“You know what I want you to do when I’m gone?” Dean asked as Sam looked up. “Burn my body, drink a cold one for me and then leave. Just leave and don’t look back. Go to Stanford or Harvard or…hell I don’t care if you go to High School Musical, Sam, just go and live. That’s all I want, for you -to live. All I’ve ever wanted.” They were silent for another long set of minutes and Dean added. “That and maybe a three way with Kelly and Jessie.”

They both laughed for a moment and Dean grabbed Sam’s head and made him look him in the eye. “I just want you to go and be happy, Sam.”

Sam looked back at him and said. “All I want is one more night with my big brother.”

A silent tear rolled down Dean’s face as he saw Sam’s anguish in his eyes. The two of them sat there for a moment in silence, both of them wanting one more night.
Dean said in almost a whisper. “Time in.” He stood up and brushed himself off. “Ok, we thinking pizza or Chinese?”

“Dean?” Sam asked standing up. “We really gonna ignore…?”

“Ignore what Sam?” Dean said, challenging him with his eyes.. “You gonna break the time-space-whatever?”

Sam pleaded with him with his eyes for a moment and then just sighed. “Chinese” He finally said in defeat.

“We had Chinese last night!” Dean said.

“Then why’d you ask?” Sam shot back.

Dean smiled and shrugged “I like to make you think you have a choice sometimes.” He grabbed the car keys off the table. “We need more beer?”

“We always need more beer.” Sam said sitting down.

Dean nodded and began to walk out. He paused for a moment and stuck his head back in. “Sammy?”

Sam looked up with eyes wide. “Your feet do stink, you know?”

Sam was pleased to see how fast Dean pulled his head out of the way as he launched a book in his direction.

37 hours left to save his brother.

He went back to research.